‘No one else can live out my goals for me’

After graduation, Kadeem Alphanso Fyffe, ’13, dove headfirst into the world of New York fashion. Since then, he has written a book (Threading the Needle) for emerging designers, created his own couture collection, and completed an artists’ residency in Kavala, Greece. Read about it here.

In his Spider Questionnaire, he reflects on the milestones and lessons from his Spider experience and elsewhere that have shaped this professional journey.

Q: What’s the best thing to happen to you in the last few years?
A: One of the greatest milestones of the last few years was receiving the Distinguished Recent Graduate Award during my 10-year class reunion in 2023. To be recognized by my alma mater for the work I’ve poured into my career and for the impact I’ve strived to make felt deeply affirming. Another major highlight was presenting an original couture collection at the Kennedy Center as part of my Back in Black: A Tribute to the Sartorial History of Black Women at the Kennedy Center Honors production. To stand in that legendary institution and merge artistry, culture, and storytelling on such a prestigious stage was a dream come true! It reminded me why I chose this path and reaffirmed my commitment to uplifting the lived experience of the Black community through fashion.

Q: At this point in your life, what is the most important thing you have learned?
A: The most important lesson I’ve learned is simple: If I don’t do it, it won’t get done. I am the primary architect of my destiny, and no one else can live out my goals for me. Over the years, I’ve had to make difficult decisions and sacrifices, sometimes walking away from comfort or stability, but I’ve learned to trust myself and stand firmly behind those choices. Self-responsibility has become a grounding force in my life.

Q: What makes you optimistic?
A: My four godchildren give me endless optimism. I want them to grow up in a world that is kinder, safer, and more inclusive than the one I knew. Knowing that my work and my daily choices can contribute, even in small ways, to building that world keeps me looking forward. They remind me that there is always something worth striving for.

Q: What’s something you’ve had to learn the hard way?
A: I learned the hard way that showing up for everyone else before showing up for myself is unsustainable. I spent many years overextending — emotionally, professionally, creatively — believing that my value came from how much I could give. Eventually, I realized that to be the best version of myself for others, I have to be the best version of myself to myself first. That shift has been liberating and has made me more grounded and resilient.

Q: What’s your advice for students on campus today?
A: Richmond is a well of resources, mentors, and opportunities — many of which you don’t fully appreciate until after you graduate. My advice is to take advantage of everything: the faculty who genuinely want to see you succeed, the interdisciplinary spaces that let you experiment, and the programs that can open unexpected doors. Every experience you invest in now is a building block for future success.

Q: What is the most surprising place you’ve ever run into another Spider?
A: I run into Spiders often, but the most surprising encounters have happened in international airports. Once, I was seated next to a fellow Spider on a flight without realizing it. The moment I reached down to grab my carry-on — with the Spider logo on it — we both paused, laughed, and ended up having a great conversation about our time at Richmond. It reminded me how far-reaching and connected this community really is.

Q: What does being a Spider mean to you?
A: Being a Spider means belonging to a tight-knit, high-achieving community of individuals who continually make meaningful contributions to the world. It’s about carrying forward the values of integrity, curiosity, and leadership that were instilled in us on campus. To me, it symbolizes excellence with heart.

Q: What’s one thing you’ve learned not to worry about?
A: I’ve learned to (actually) stop worrying about other people’s opinions — especially when it comes to my life, my career path, or my achievements. People will always have something to say, but their perspective doesn’t define my worth, direction, or purpose. I don’t need others to give me flowers — I can buy myself flowers.

Q: What is something about yourself or the world that you hope is different in 10 years?
A: In 10 years, I hope for a world that is freer and more equitable — particularly for communities that have historically been marginalized. I want to see a future where people who look and love like me are not just included, but centered, celebrated, and protected. As for myself, I hope to be living even more boldly and authentically, continuing to use my platform to create change.

Q: What’s something you have held onto since college?
A: Physically, I’ve held onto a large portion of the reading materials and books that shaped my perspective during my time at Richmond. Those texts opened up new ways of thinking for me, especially through the intersections of art, culture, and identity. I’ve also held tightly to a piece of advice from my faculty mentor, Johann Stegmeir, in the department of theater and dance: “The key to a good sketch is to start with a freshly sharpened pencil.” It’s simple, but it taught me about preparation, intention, and respecting the craft —  principles that continue to guide my creative process today.